Sleep

Sleep precious sleep
I watch you from the deep
caress you while you sleep
and burn you in your dreams

Comfortably curl, up in your bed
safe below your covers and let the sugarplum dreams begin
I twist your dreams to a dark reality
and wake you a million times while you sleep

I cut your back and bruise your arms,
if you think you can stop me go ahead and try
I will come back stronger and madder
and strike back with a vengance.

You are not safe, do not let yourself be fooled by false comforts
I lie in the shadows and feed on your misery
so dream precious dream, and let your dreams turn to dark reality
wake and scream and plead as you wish, you cannot escape, I cloud your mind with mist

The mist lifts as you wake, frightened and lonly
in your despair I draw a breath, feeding and draining you at once.
This is how my clan survives, and you will never be able to hide
Perhaps if you resolved all your greif you wouldn't be visited by a hellish nights sleep.

me or ME

Do you want me to be me or ME
the me you know is loving and kind,
supportive and comforting,
warm and soft, understanding and encouraging,
she watches what she says and how she acts,
and has a tight hold over her emotions and actions.

ME on the other hand is cruel and uncaring,
cold and hard, demonic and calculating,
she wants to rip people to shreds emotionally,
and stop on those who anger her, she has no control.

A battle wages on inside of everyone.
This battle wages on inside of me.
You call me an angel, but are you sure I am not a demon,
hiding and biding my time, like a spider in the web,
waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.
ME has imagined playing with their emotions,
drawing them in and crushing them.
me would never let ME do those things,
for no one would ever show me love or compassion if
ME was let loose on the human race.

So be careful what you say when you tell me to be myself
there are two hiding within, battling and strugling
and one day the other will win.
I sit here, like an angel on a throne, loved by almost all
but I wish to dwell in darkness and mayhem.
me feeds ME with drama and despair, sometimes causing injury so ME can feed.
me feels like a broken mirror, cursed and ugly and tossed aside.
I am learning to cope with ME, but are you sure your ready?
You tell me you can take it all, but ME and me truly wonders if you could.
We both love you, unconditionally, but when ME takes over I pray your capacatiy to forgive
is all enduring.

Angel or Demon?

I once was angel, living in grace

Now I’m a demon, with an angels face

My heart, once so pure, has now turned to ice

Black, and cold, and it beats pure no more

I wish for none other, other than you

You who have turned me, into someone cruel

I no longer seem to care

And though I still cry, I don’t feel the scare

I know that I love you, that will never change

Can you still love, this demon you create?

I feel the old, fading away, I feel someone new

I know her name

Perhaps I’ve gone mad, but you know that’s ok

Perhaps I’ve gone crazy, I still live today

Keep me close to you forever, my feelings are just locking themselves away

I know a hurt is coming, so I choose this façade

Maybe I’m not a demon, maybe I’m an angel still

Perhaps I wish to twist my soul, and live in the light no more

Maybe I don’t know what’s going on, and that in itself is true

I will do whatever it takes, to make sure I never loose you

~

June 20, 2011

My hellfire and Brimstone

Apparently, you can see when I’m attracted to you

Don’t think that means you’re going to get far

Attraction is simply a passing part of life, but love can last forever

I may flirt, and I may flaunt

I am a free woman

I can do whatever I want

I will lure you in, and play with your mind

But my heart is locked away tight

You will never get in, you’re simply my fun

Enjoy it while you can, because tomorrow I may be gone

Dance with me, caress my skin, look deep into my eyes,

I enjoy this dance with fire, so please come a little closer

Let the flames consume us, as the ice settles in

You will not ever win

This is my world, I create the laws

You are my puppets, I have you in my claws

I may whimper, and I may moan

You think my heart may be yours to own

But it is taken, by someone unique

A demon of fire, a god from the deep

He lets me play, and have my fun

For he knows he has already won

I am his, body, spirit, and soul

His to torture, worship, and own

I do not wish to leave, this hell that is my life

Let the brimstone burn my flesh, let his pleasure caress

I am his, forever and a day, until he does so wish me away

You have been warned if you choose to play this game

That you cannot win, and you will be played

You may think I’m cruel, and maybe it’s true

Life is cruel, get use to my rules

Demons will play, while thier gods are away

While I toy with your feelings on earth

My heart lies in hell

And I wouldn’t trade places with you for all of the world

~

June 20, 2011

Winning the War, feigning the Battle

Baby you’ve won,

You’ve broken me down

In this game you play

You came out king

But don’t be surprised

When I come from behind

And take away all your glory

I’ve been broken, defeated, down on my knees

I’ve been tortured and raped and filled with disease

Think what you will for your own sanity

Watch me writhe beneath your feet

You think you’ve won the war

When in all reality

You’ve simply won the battle

I will be the victorious queen

I know your game

I see your lies

You don’t have me fooled

I am a better player than you think

You cannot manipulate me

No, for I am not as blinded as you belive

~

June 20, 2011